


Feels Like Home

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2019 [30]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Friendship, Head Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Memory Loss, Pre-Slash, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 00:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19712902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for Movie Lines prompt:Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, "It’s there, I know it is because when I look at you, I can feel it. And I, I look at you and…I’m home." (Finding Nemo)In which John is injured and Rodney does everything in his power to fix things, even though the best fix is just being there.





	Feels Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> Also written for hurt/comfort bingo: major illness or injury

“Where we goin’?”

“ _We’re_ not going anywhere, Colonel,” Rodney said irritably. “I have a staff meeting.”

“Cool.”

John kept pace with him, and Rodney sighed. Spending time with John had been difficult since the accident, not the least because Rodney was the only one he seemed to want to be around. Which, yes, was something he’d always wanted more of but not under the current circumstances.

Mostly he felt guilty because he still hadn’t found a way to fix things, despite his reputation for last-minute saves.

“John. How are you feeling today?” Woolsey asked when they walked into the conference room.

“Good,” John replied. But Rodney could tell from the slight furrow in his forehead that John was trying to remember Woolsey’s name.

“Richard,” Rodney prompted.

“Right.”

John plunked himself down in the nearest chair and started lazily swiveling in it. The laces on his boots were undone.

“And how are you doing?” Woolsey asked Rodney in a more hushed tone.

Rodney brushed off his concern. “I’ll be fine as soon as we get this meeting over with. I’m very busy.”

It wasn’t easy to concentrate, though, when half his attention was taken up with watching John, who was trying to follow the meeting but kept losing the thread.

*o*o*o*

_“The Colonel has had a traumatic brain injury,” Carson the Second said solemnly. “I’ve no way of knowing how severe till he wakes up”_

_Rodney glanced over at the bed where John lay sedated, half his hair shaved away and his head bandaged. He felt like he might throw up._

_“What could we be looking at?” Woolsey asked._

_“There are any number of effects: gross motor function impairments, speech impairments, memory issues, emotional problems. We’ll know more within the next twenty-four hours.”_

_“How do we fix it?” Rodney asked. “Medication? Therapy? What?”_

_Carson gave him a sympathetic look, and Rodney wanted to punch him in the face. “The degree of recovery is variable, depending on what symptoms he presents with. But it’s very likely there’ll be no full recovery, and we need to come to terms with that.”_

_“No,” Rodney said. “That’s bullshit. There has to be something.”_

_“Rodney,” Woolsey said. He put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder._

_Rodney shrugged him off and tapped his earpiece. “Zelenka! I want everyone scouring the Ancient database. We’re looking for medical devices, specifically to do with the brain.”_

_There was something, there had to be, and he was going to find it._

*o*o*o*

“Why’re we here?”

“Check your pad,” Rodney suggested. “Calendar.”

John pulled the downsized datapad out of his uniform pocket and touched the appropriate icon.

“Oh, right. Check-up. Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do,” Carson said with a smile. 

He got John to hop up on the exam table and did all the standard checks before examining the scar on the side of John’s head. The cowlicks had returned in all their physics-defying glory, but the area around the scar was still just fuzz.

“You’re healing very well, lad,” Carson said. “Have you had any pain?”

John looked at Rodney, who mimed using the pad. John pouted in response. Carson watched both of them, clearly amused.

“The headaches are going away, and they’re not as severe,” Rodney said with a sigh.

“And his short-term memory?”

“The pad helps a little. When he uses it.” Rodney glared at John, who used the pad to pull up a rude emoji. Who the hell put that on there? It would be pointless asking John.

It wasn’t just John’s short-term memory that had been affected. Some of his long-term memory was gone, too. Rodney tried to make sure anything John needed to know was on the pad.

“Can I go?” John asked. He tapped on his pad. “I have a thing with Ronon.”

“I’ll see you again at the end of the week,” Carson said. “I’ll put it in your calendar.”

“Thanks, Doc! Later, Rodney!”

John sauntered out of the infirmary, just like he always did, and for a moment Rodney could pretend John wouldn’t need to check his pad five more times before he made it to Ronon.

“He’s doing remarkably well,” Carson said.

“He could be doing better,” Rodney replied.

There was an algorithm continually running on the Ancient database, because the science department couldn’t spare the personnel, but so far nothing had turned up to help John. Rodney wasn’t giving up. Because if their positions had been reversed, John wouldn’t give up either.

*o*o*o*

_The message was short and to the point: We need McKay. ASAP._

_It had come in an emergency databurst, and Rodney took only enough time to throw some things in a duffle before he returned to the Gate room._

_“I told you!” He jabbed a finger in Woolsey’s direction. “I told you sending him there was a mistake!”_

_“We don’t know what this is about, Dr. McKay,” Woolsey said._

_“What else would it be? Why does no-one ever listen to me?”_

_“Dial it,” Woolsey told Chuck, clearly not wanting to argue._

_No matter. Rodney had an affidavit from Carson, supporting Rodney’s contention that John’s recovery would be better played out on Atlantis. He’d do whatever it took to get Lam on board with that as well, so he could get John home._

_“Why am I here? What’s happening? Let me go!”_

_Rodney found John in the SGC’s infirmary, strapped to a bed and thrashing around like a trapped animal. He saw red and immediately lambasted the first person he saw. “Get Lam in here! Now!”_

_He went to the bed. “John. It’s okay. Do you remember me?”_

_The reaction was immediate. John stopped struggling, his chest heaving from the effort, and he looked relieved._

_“Rodney.”_

_Rodney removed the straps and helped John sit up, checking his wrists to make sure he hadn’t hurt himself._

_“Why am I here?” John asked. He’d never looked so confused. “I don’t like it.”_

_“I know. And I’m going to fix that, okay? We’re going home together, I promise.”_

_John was given a medical discharge and officially returned to Atlantis as a civilian consultant attached to the science division. It was a bittersweet victory for Rodney, particularly because John didn’t seem to realize what it was he’d lost._

*o*o*o*

“What’re we doin’?”

“Going out to the pier, remember? There’s a meteor shower tonight.”

“Meteors. Right.”

John walked beside Rodney, six pack of beer in his hand. Rodney had some muffins Lorne had made just for them; he always seemed apologetic for taking over military command of Atlantis, like it had been a coup instead of a necessity.

They sat at the edge of the pier, after Rodney unrolled a pallet for them. It was a nice night, warm without being sticky, and the fingernail moon didn’t wash out the starry sky.

“This is nice,” John said.

“It’s not bad,” Rodney agreed. 

The beer was cold and the muffins were delicious, and for a while they could just sit and stargaze and not talk about anything important. Almost like it used to be.

“What are we looking for?” John asked after a while.

“Meteors,” Rodney reminded him again. “It should be starting soon.”

“Do you get tired of me?” 

Rodney looked over at John, startled. “What?”

“I know I’m different now. I can’t remember stuff. Don’t you get sick of repeating yourself all the time?”

Rodney immediately felt guilty. Had he been short with John? It was annoying, in that he hated having to repeat himself. But…it was _John_. He’d do anything for that man, regardless of his mental capacity.

“I could never be sick of you,” Rodney replied honestly. “A little overwhelmed, sometimes. I wish I could help you.”

“But you do!” John turned, pulling his legs up. “When I’m with you…it’s like I can almost remember. When I look at you, I can feel it. You feel like home.”

Rodney’s eyes were burning, and he could barely swallow around the lump in his throat. He was sorry he’d ever complained, even just to himself, about John being his constant shadow. He opened his mouth, unsure of what he was even going to say.

“Hey, look!” John pointed up at the sky. The meteor shower had started.

He’d probably forget what he said, because he forgot most things these days, but when they both lay back with the wide expanse of night sky above them to watch the meteors streak through the atmosphere, John snuggled up next to Rodney, his hair tickling at Rodney’s ear.

“You feel like home to me, too,” Rodney whispered.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** With this prompt, I just had to go angsty. And I decided to make John the injured party, since Rodney already has his own brain damage story with _The Shrine_. Like Dory, John’s memory issues are both short- and long-term, to varying degrees. 
> 
> I’m not a neurologist, nor have I ever had a TBI, so take all of this with a grain of salt. ::grins::


End file.
